Cohabitation
Cohabitation is a five-syllable word for "living together". More specifically, it refers to couples living together without being married. As recently as two generations ago, "living together" was not the norm -- or at least it was not the general practice for couples to openly live together. Such inhibitions are largely gone nowadays, and it is pretty much true that "everyone" does it.
The Church is seen as being stubborn and unrealistic when she teaches against cohabitation - especially when good Catholic men and women practice it. Criticism of the Church's teaching on this issue takes on a number of forms. Let us briefly consider just two of these criticisms.
One criticism runs like this: "Living together is an educational experience for the couple. They will learn about each other, and problems can be sorted out beforehand. This will make for happier, healthier marriages for those who decide to tie the matrimonial knot. If the Church is for strong marriages, she should not be against the practice of living together." This sounds plausible. But the fact is this: Couples who live together before marriage are twice as likely to wind up in a divorce court as those who do not. Just in case you think that is a typo, let me repeat it: Couples who live together before marriage are twice as likely to wind up in a divorce court as those who do not. You may ask: "How can that be? In this little blurb, we won't get into the various theories as to why that fact, so counter-intuitive to some, is true. We just present the fact. And in the interest of maintaining a strict logic and not overplaying our hand, we note that this fact does not prove that cohabitation causes problems down the road. The data say nothing about cause. The data do, however, indicate that there is a significant tendency for marital problems to follow on the heels of cohabitation. Tracing any chains of causality is an adventure I'll leave to folks who have studied the dynamics of marriage.
Another criticism is this: "This is just another example of how old-fashioned and how out of touch with reality the Church is." I think there is a difference between being "out of touch with reality" and "in opposition to reality". In the Church's formative years, cohabitation was at least as common in the prevailing culture as it is now. (There is nothing new under the sun.) The Church certainly recognized that cohabitation was a cultural reality there in the early centuries. But she opposed it then because it worked against the sanctity of marriage and family, and also because it was part of the prevailing culture that viewed women primarily as objects to be used. So the Church's teaching at that time was rather revolutionary - certainly counter-cultural. By the same token, the Church in this century is not being old-fashioned. But she is doing something that is difficult and uncomfortable and necessary - swimming against the current.
There is more that could be said on this topic. Maybe I'll finish up on it later.
